Fissured Heart
by Aya Diefair
Summary: Misleading the two people you love from discovering each other seems like a good idea on parchment. In reality, it will only spell disaster. — - Warning: Language/Derogatory Slurs, Minor Sexual Content, Murder.


**Author's Note:** For more heartstring tugging fun, listen to _This Night_ by Black Lab while reading. It is what drove this story for the most part. You're welcome.

* * *

 **Fissured Heart**

 _Friday; 16th of June, 2000 - 06:30am_

Draco Malfoy had been awake for the past half hour, watching through the water-beaded window across the room as the sun rays attempted to bleed through the inky black-clouded sky. The dreary summer morning promised more rain and a cold wind for the day which, to Draco, would perfectly set his gloomy mood for the task he had to tend to: greet Astoria Greengrass at the train station.

Despite being dragged through the pits of Hell the last two years of his school life, and then forced to return to finish his education in the War's aftermath, his parents still felt the need to arrange a betrothal because it was _custom_. Now he was fated to be wedded to Astoria that autumn. Being two years his junior, a properly groomed witch complete with a dowery, Slytherin, pureblood - she was a suitable choice anyone would have happily approved of.

He didn't agree, but who listens to the betrothed on what _they_ want? Draco still followed the tradition with an emotionless smile on his face and an emptiness in his heart. Courting her was one of the most excruciating things he'd had to endure: Hogsmeade dates, quidditch games, holiday balls, parties, and social events were only a few things he'd forever face upon their marriage. It was an essential step in order to get to know one another better. Draco hated it.

What few knew was that the War greatly affected his state of mind and shook him to his core. Astoria did not witness the thrashing that came from the nightmares, the ragged screams of terror ripping through the dorms that woke her, the destroyed room caused by frantic spellcasting in his sleep, the fear to look over one's shoulder and feel like someone was always watching. She wasn't there to comfort him during these episodes, but _he_ was. The man that was curled up behind Draco was there to bear witness to all of Draco's weakest and most vulnerable points in his young life.

His soft breaths tickled the back of Draco's neck with each silent exhale, a lanky arm draped around his waist pulled him close; both were a guilt-free pleasure that stalled him from getting up for just a little longer.

Theodore Nott was the unfortunate bloke who discovered Draco's bedtime distress signals. He was nearly cursed into oblivion when he walked into the desolate Eighth Year Slytherin dorms (Who wants to room with a Death Eater?) on the later side two years ago. He came to Draco's side immediately, snatching the wand from him to avoid further damage or injury, and simply pulled the shaken blond's frame into a tight, yet soothing embrace. He gently cradled Draco, rocking him in a comforting sway while whispering words of comfort and reassurance.

It helped that they were close friends from the start, one of very few wizards Draco really trusted throughout his childhood and school years. The kindness Theo offered him that night was only the beginning.

Draco was there for Theo when he willingly exiled himself from his family and the pureblood society on his own eighteenth birthday. He rejected his betrothal arranged by his parents, and added insult to injury by coming out to them before storming through the door, never to look back.

He welcomed Theo with open arms in a heartbeat, knowing he was broke and homeless otherwise with nowhere to go. What Draco admired about his best friend was that he did not regret the decision to leave even when Draco expressed the consequences of his choice. Theo was happy and far braver than Draco ever could be. Even after everything he went through to protect himself and his family from harm, he still felt like a coward in following through with his own arranged marriage.

It wasn't long after Draco's betrothal did he discover his true feelings for Theo. When the announcement was made at the Christmas Ball, his world shattered. Playing Perfect Pureblood with Astoria brought on new nightmares and fears, and the dormant feelings that he unknowingly pushed to the darkest part of his mind came flooding to the front lines in a soul crushing emotional breakdown.

Theo was there for him to offer comfort, give support, and suggest a way out. It was only then did Draco find himself confessing his love for Theo, and even in this most vulnerable state he put himself in, all Theo had to say was: " _I know."_

A deep sigh escaped the blond as he carefully pulled the arm away from him. The time for reminiscing was over, and he needed to face his reality. Rain gently pelted against the window as he sat upright, running his hands over his face and hair.

Before Draco was able to get completely out of bed, those long arms captured him around the shoulders. "Don't go."

Draco grabbed Theo's hands in his own and gave them a squeeze before breaking them apart; giving one a gentle kiss on the knuckles.

"I have to," his voice was just above a whisper.

Theo tangled his arms back around Draco, nuzzling his neck and muttering in his ear. "Fuck her, mate. You got the job, you got a flat. You've got a fag-"

"I know."

"Then why still bother with her?"

Theo asked him this question every time Draco had to see Astoria. Rather than answering it for the countless time, he let it hang in the air, allowing the rain tapping the window to respond for him.

It was the one thing Draco wished Theo would understand, his relationship with his parents was far different than his. His only purpose in being so involved with the War was for their sake, to protect them from harm, as they did for him for so long until their defenses were gravely compromised. He could at least give them his cooperation and offer the opportunity to continue their bloodline, right? It would make them happy again, wouldn't it?

He was scared, truthfully terrified for the day when Theo would change the question. When will he start asking him why he wasn't enough? Why did he continue the facade if he was? Did he really like Astoria and was he trying to spare his feelings about it? What would - could - Draco say in return to all this?

Sure, Theo was fine with the arrangement now; the courting, the little gifts he'd buy for her - and a lot of gifts for him, too. But when things were going to get serious, and they were going to be very soon, how long would he be able to endure it before he left him?

Draco broke away from the embrace and got to his feet. He was going to be late if he stalled much longer. Stifling a yawn, he turned to Theo, holding out a hand to him.

"Care for a wash?"

A sleepy smile split across Theo's face as he accepted the outstretched hand. Draco always knew how to distract each other from the daunting burden that was their life.

 **.oOo.**

 _Friday; 16th of June, 2000 - 11:50am_

Draco stood on Platform 9¾ and waited for the scarlet engine to arrive. He was dressed in a set of new dinner robes for the celebration party he'd be attending with her for her graduation that evening. What he was not looking forward to was everything that was going to follow.

All of the last minute wedding and post-wedding planning, parties, and living arrangements all had to be worked around his job schedule. Upon further reflection, it was starting to stack up against him. Draco hated the fact that he won't be able to be around Theo as much during the summer because it was going to eat up the daylight hours, and possibly a chunk of the evening hours as well. The fear of losing Theo invaded his mind all over again as the train slowly moved into the station.

Draco put on his best smile and pushed all his thoughts away when he saw Astoria deboard the train. Her melon green dress and matching summer hat stood out among the bland background colors of the station, making it difficult to not spot her. Though she was officially graduated and of age, she still appeared girlish to him. The pastel color choices in her wardrobe did not help, and if she exaggerated the natural ringlets in her dirty blonde hair, she looked like one of the porcelain dolls he once found in the attic that came from his mother's childhood. The comparison made him uneasy at the worst of times, and this was one of them.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, Draco approached her as gracefully and naturally as he could. "Hello, Astoria. How was the trip?"

Draco groaned internally at the forced conversation starter. He'd experienced that very trip several times himself and knew how dull it was so asking about her own experience felt foolish.

She gave him a warm, welcoming smile and ignored the awkward question. "It's great to see you, Draco."

Leaning upwards, Astoria gave him a gentle peck on the cheek.

It left his skin burn with a sense of betrayal. "I missed you. Graduation couldn't come fast enough for me."

"I know the feeling."

It was not meant to sound like he agreed with her excitement of what she looked forward to, but that he could relate to the relief he felt when he could leave the school behind for good… or at least until he had a child of his own. But there were other options out there aside from Hogwarts.

Unfortunately for Draco, Astoria was completely smitten with him. He felt sorry for her, however. She was raised to only ever dream about marriage and having that perfect family and house and was never allowed to think much else outside of that little box. Her eagerness to make the transition to married life so soon radiated off her as she hung from his arm and giggled girlishly at his misunderstood comment.

"Are you hungry? We could go for lunch on the way back to the Manor?" Draco offered, gracefully weaving them through the crowd to the exit.

"That sounds wonderful."

 **.oOo.**

 _Saturday; 17th of June, 2000 - 02:17am_

The door to the flat closed behind him louder than Draco anticipated and he flinched at the sound. It was very late, and he assumed that Theo had been long asleep by then. His buzzed mind dulled his observation skills as he hung his cloak and approached the living room. A strange glow lit the room, but it wasn't from any kind of magic or candle, it came from a strange box that sat haphazardly on one of the end tables. He stared at the moving pictures coming from it with uncertainty until something stirred behind him.

He turned to regard Theo who was sprawled out on the couch and wearing nothing but pyjama bottoms. "You make a better door than a window, love."

Draco was perplexed by the comment, only moving out of the way when Theo made a motion with his hand.

"What is this thing?" He gestured to the strange box before pushing Theo's legs off the couch to sit.

Theo shifted himself to lean against the blond, burying his face in the crook of his neck. "Muggles call it a telly. Took me ages to figure out how to use it, but these...erm… _programs_ it shows are fascinating. There's this one where a wizard who can't die that travels through time and space in a blue wooden box. Can you believe the shite Muggles come up with for entertainment?"

Draco felt himself bristle as the contraption in front of him was explained. Having to hide his secret affair in his flat was difficult enough to do, and now he had Muggle things being smuggled in. He knew Theo was bored to tears some days, getting a dayjob in the wizarding public eye was not in his best interest when everyone in their society knew of his treachery. If he was not cautious of who he ran into, some would have his head. So he decided the Muggle world was safer, even though he would be just as useless at any job that world offered. Regardless, the exposure quickly rubbed off on him.

"Hmm."

"You're coming in late. How was playing pretend?" Theo knew the question would irk the blond.

It was going to be one of those nights, Theo was being moody, and this Muggle contraption was intended to bother him. That fear was pulled back to the front again, and Draco yearned to just wrap his arms around the dark-haired man and have them both forget about the inevitable for just a little while, but he didn't. Theo would see it from a kilometer away and deflect.

"It was the same as always: exhausting." A hitched exhale escaped with the last word.

Theo was shifting the game on him by nibbling at the flesh on the base of his neck and shoulder. A sensational shutter ran down Draco's spine, and with the aid of the buzz from the evening social events, his mind had gone completely blank. Theo was not in the mood he predicted, but he wasn't going to complain.

Several heated minutes blurred by. Draco's only focus was on Theo; where his hands had slid up under the untucked shirt, the anticipation on where those silk lips would wander to next, the excitement that brushed against his thigh as Theo climbed into his lap. Long fingers made quick work of the buttons on Draco's shirt while Theo captured his lips for a sweet, tranquil second. Theo then started to brush his jawline with soft lips before finding the pale neckline again. Draco's mind was to caught up in the euphoric drunkenness Theo's teasing fed him that it wasn't until a particularly rough nip from him snapped Draco back to reality.

"Theo… Theo stop." When his requests were being ignored, Draco's anger quickly flashed through him as he shoved Theo off. "I said stop, damnit!"

Theo toppled onto the floor, a firm glare fixated on Draco. "What the bloody Hell?"

"I should ask the same," Draco snapped, practically leaping from the sofa and into the small washroom nearby to inspect the damage. "I _told_ you that this was not allowed!"

Several areas were turning a light shade of purple as the blood started to surface under the skin. Some were already colored darker, and it would take them days to go away at this point. His concealment charms were shoddy, and hiding these would be difficult. Making sure the spell didn't lapse would be the only thing on his mind while in public. He could feel Theo's eyes roll as he got to his feet and shuffled over.

"You didn't seem to mind a few moments ago, mate. Or was I misinterpreting those stuttering gasps?" Theo had a sinister look in his eyes as he looked over Draco's shoulder into the mirror at him.

In that same beat, Theo had planted a firm, almost vicious bite on the blond's bare shoulder. Not suspecting the action, Draco abruptly jerked himself away, pressing his back to the wall of the small space, sending steely grey daggers back at Theo.

"What the _fuck,_ Theo!"

"I don't want to lose you because of that slag, Draco," Theo stated darkly, expression reflecting the seriousness of his words. "I want her to know that you're already taken. That you're _mine._ "

The possessiveness in his tone comforted and frightened Draco at the same time. After processing what was said and allowing himself to calm down, he felt pleased that he wasn't alone in sharing the fear that brushed across his mind all day. He didn't want to lose Theo to Astoria, either. A sense of relief washed over him, and the tension he felt in-between his shoulders relaxed. Theo had propped himself against the frame of the door, idly running a hand through his dark hair as he looked toward the floor. His other arm wrapped lazily around his own waist.

"I'm sorry," Theo breathed out.

"Don't be."

Draco felt the day's burdens crash over him, and the exhaustion weighed down on him as he ran a hand through his own tousled hair before placing it over the bruising shoulder. He curled his other hand around Theo's who gripped it with a desperation Draco never thought would come from him.

"We'll talk in the morning?" Theo uttered; the inquiry was heavily laden in each word and it screamed for Draco to not disappear before sunrise again.

Unable to find a way to properly reply, the blond gripped his hand harder in a silent assurance. He moved past Theo then, guiding his lover down the hall and to their room. The two soon curled into each other as sleep captured them both in its welcoming embrace.

 **.oOo.**

 _Saturday; 17th of June, 2000 - 10:03am_

Draco's neck ached from the love bites, but he welcomed the dull pain. The pair didn't say much to each other as they picked at their breakfasts and sipped at coffee. Whatever was on the telly was the only thing that broke the silence since neither of them could figure out how to turn it off. One of them needed to broach the subject that they tossed aside last night, but none wanted to.

"Where'd you get the currency for that monstrosity, anyway?" Draco finally asked.

Theo looked up from his plate, confused by the question until a blond head nudged toward the television. "I exchanged some of your stash at Gringotts."

Draco's blood ran cold at the answer, staring at Theo with what he hoped was concern and not some weird silent scolding. He was an adult after all, he could go where he pleased, but that unknown encounter, that one person that would go off the handle by seeing Theo was something he'd rather his dark-haired lover not risk.

"Relax, I used glamour charms. I am not suicidal."

The blond breathed a sigh of relief.

"Great use of _our_ stash," Draco teased. "It won't bloody turn off. Had to get a broken gadget on your first Muggle shopping trip?"

Theo smirked at the playfulness. "Like you'd do better, mate."

"Listen–"

A knock was heard on the front door, and the two froze at its sound. Staring at each other in silent terror as they attempted to puzzle out who on earth would be on their doorstep. Theo was the first to motion for Draco to go check it out, but the idea of who it could be had Draco completely paralyzed. Theo rolled his eyes before quietly getting up and going to the door. Peeking through the eye hole, he turned very quickly around.

"It's your bitch," he mouthed, stressing the last word.

A second wave of knocks had Theo back away from the door, Draco somehow re-animated himself and moved toward it. Theo grabbed one of their wands from the table and quickly placed a glamor charm on Draco's neck - something he'd completely forgotten about - and he shot a spell at the telly, effectively silencing the contraption with a unnerving shatter.

Draco looked over his shoulder to see that Theo was no longer in sight. Attempting to ease the pounding in his chest, he opened the door slowly; only allowing a small crack to reveal Astoria to him.

"Hello?"

Astoria's infectious smile formed, but her eyes showed concern. "Good morning, love."

"Oh, hi, Astoria," Draco muttered, feigning sleepiness. "What brings you here so early?"

She frowned at the question, and this put Draco on edge.

"It's a quarter past ten, Draco. You never showed for breakfast." She took a step up closer to the door, thinking that she'd be let in.

He did not make a motion to do so. "Oh, shite."

"Is everything alright? I heard voices and then … a strange crash. Are you hurt?" Her gloved hand pressed against the door, and Draco used his shoulder to keep it from budging. "Could I come in, please?"

Her annoyance at his rudeness was subtle, but as he looked down at her melon pink dress, Draco's eyes burned at the sight. This alone had him almost conclude he did not want to be with her anymore. Snapping back to his senses before she got to cross with him, he cleared his throat.

"I am sorry, Astoria. The morning has escaped me and I overslept," he rushed out. "And I'm… I'm not _decent_."

The flush of her skin was genuine and relief settled over him. It was enough to have Astoria remove her hand from the door at least. She still held suspicion in her eyes, but tore them away from Draco to check her watch.

"Okay… Well, would you mind meeting me for brunch in twenty minutes? There's a nice place just down the way. I'll get a table and wait for you there." The invite was a demand.

Her wandering eyes tried to peer around the blond and into the flat, suspecting to see something she shouldn't. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you in twenty."

"Draco?"

He wished he just shut the door and pretended he didn't hear her, but he pulled it back open. "Yes?"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

She had every right to ask him this, she was allowed to be concerned. Apparently Astoria grew used to his impeccable habit of keeping promises and being punctual that the one time he was a no show it set everything askew in her world.

"Astoria," Draco said a tad to firmly. "I'm alright. The late night… I just drank more than I thought. I'll be fine."

"But the crash-"

"Was a vase that fell in my haste to answer the door," he explained away.

"And the voices?"

She was overly observant. How could he explain why he had a telly in his flat? That was what she really heard as Theo and Draco said nothing as soon as they knew someone was just outside.

"I was talking to myself. Look, Astoria. I need to get ready if you want to do brunch," Draco reasoned.

She gave a curt nod, not seeming to believe everything.

"Right. See you soon." She made her way down to the pavement, turning to eye the blond still peering through the door. "I love you."

Draco gave a quick wave before slamming the door and placing his forehead against it, letting out the first full breath he'd taken in minutes.

"Well, you're fucked," Theo stated matter-of-factly from behind, effectively startling the blond out of his skin.

"Shite, mate. Why not just give me a heart attack and put me out of my misery?" Draco hissed, realizing that Theo seemed to have heard the entire exchange. "Wait, you heard all that?"

Theo gave a shrug and coy smile, biting the pad of his thumb at the corner of his mouth with mock innocence and a shrill tone. " _I love you."_

Draco just rolled his eyes. This day was becoming a disaster. Pinching the bridge of his nose, the oncoming headache was not helping his train of thought.

A deep, defeated sigh escaped from Draco, and without another word he went to hastily make himself presentable. Theo's demeanor changed immediately as he watched Draco pace the flat before retreating to the bedroom.

"Don't go," Theo snapped, blocking Draco's way at the room's threshold.

"I _have_ to. She's highly suspicious-"

"We weren't through." Theo's pale green eyes burned a contained fury.

"Theo, I can't do this right now. Please?"

The dark-haired wizard dropped his guard, stepping out of Draco's way. "I know a guy who will off her in a heartbeat for the right price."

"No."

"Obliviate them, then. All of them, just clean the whole slate and be fucking done with it."

Draco slammed a fist hard on the doorframe, shutting Theo up immediately. His piercing gaze told him enough.

Theo clenched his jaw. "Fine. Go sod off and play fairytale prince. But I am tired of being treated like a bad one-night stand every time I turn around!"

Draco froze. "Theo…"

"You said you were going to end this ages ago! Why hasn't it happened? You're getting fucking married in four months!" He continued, voice raised.

"I am! I will. I just-"

"Then show me. Show me right now and I'll believe you. Leave with me. Now." Theo demanded, eyes trained on Draco like a hawk, waiting.

Draco let out a bitter laugh, but his heart ached. This was not how it was supposed to go.

She was tearing them apart, and he couldn't stop it. "Leave with what? Go where? We'd be less than the rats in sewers if we left now."

"I'd rather be poor and homeless with you than rich, sheltered, and living in a dark secret on the edge of your warped fantasy."

Draco said nothing, and it was enough to make Theo brush by him, grab a set of Muggle clothes to toss on, and leave the flat with a loud slam of the door.

This was not supposed to happen.

 **.oOo.**

 _Sunday; 18th of June, 2000 - 03:58am_

Had Draco known Astoria was going to keep him out the entire day to wedding shop, sample foods and cakes because she just couldn't decide on her own, he'd have run away with Theo that morning. Had he'd known the fight between them was going to be the last thing he'd ever say and hear from Theo, he'd have ran away with him and avoid the entire argument.

Had he'd known he'd be waiting up for Theo to come home in the late hour so he could shower him with apologies and affection, telling him he was right and to arrange for an Obliviator to remove all traces of this mess immediately, he'd had left with him as soon as the deed was done.

A firm knock on the door startled him from his thoughts. He ripped open the door and was faced with the Muggle police.

"Are you a Mister Dray-go Male-ro- Malf-"

He held in the urge to snap out his name, he just didn't have the energy. "Yes, that's me."

The police officer cleared his throat and scribbled something on his notes. "You are the flatmate to a Theodore Nott?"

Draco was growing worried. What the bloody hell did he do?

"Yes."

The officer stalled a moment before continuing. "I deeply am sorry to inform you that, at approximately one-thirty this evening, we found Mister Nott's body behind a gay bar. It was called in anonymously."

"Wha-What?"

Draco's ears started to ring, Theo was dead? Was that what they were saying?

The officer pulled a photo from a file and handed it to Draco before continuing. Draco didn't hear anything the officer said as he took in the horrid details of the photograph. Theo's body was beaten almost beyond recognition, his arm looked broken, and his wand… Merlin he had his wand and couldn't fend off his attackers, was lying in pieces beside him. His clothes were aggressively ripped and torn. It made him sick.

The officers voice bled into his conscience, yet it still sounded distant. "... his only identification lead us here, though he is not in our system at all as being a resident, or even existing for that matter. Do you have contact with his family by chance?"

Draco's heart shattered to pieces on the pavement below. Theo was dead, murdered by some homophobic drunks, and it was all his fault. He did not know what he told the police, he did not know how he kept himself from collapsing to the floor, but several minutes went by in a fogged haze. He finally closed the door and he slid down it where he then curled into himself, the sobs shaking him uncontrollably.

He was not able to protect Theo like he had done for him.

 **.oOo.**

 _Sunday; 18th of June, 2000 - 09:57am_

The frail state she found Draco in the next morning was alarming. Astoria was at his side in a heartbeat wearing an ugly melon orange dress that irritated his red-rimmed eyes even more. He did not know how she got there, but he did not care.

"Oh, Merlin. What happened, Draco?"

"Theo…" his voice was hoarse from crying. "He's dead… so you… y-ou can have all of me… now."

Though she would not truly understand the meaning behind those words until many years later, all she could do in that moment was place a hand over her mouth in sympathetic horror while only knowing that he'd lost a dear friend.

She pulled Draco into her lap and cradled him in a gentle sway; she had witnessed him at his lowest and weakest point he'd ever been in. She was there because of _him_.

* * *

 **Written for Round 3, Year 2 of The Houses Competitions**

 **Written for the 28 Days of Romance in February Challenge**

 **Written for the Crayola Color Challenge from the HPFFC Forum**

 **House:** Hufflepuff

 **Category:** Themed (2000-5000 Words)

 **Themed Prompt:** Deception

 **Prompt(s):** 2\. [Pairing] Draco/Theo

 **28 Days of Romance:** Day 3 - Rare Gay Ship; Implied Bisexual Character

 **Color Prompt:** Melon

 **Word count:** (Per Google Docs) 4,827

 **Beta(s):** Magi, Zoe


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